Monday, October 24, 2016

The EPIC junk food run: McDonald's and Easy Cheese


What good is any diet if it doesn't have a cheat day built in? It's hard to say, but since going Bulletproof I haven't felt a need to cheat on my diet... and yet, I decided to drive south into the United States of America for an EPIC junk food run! My main goal was to secure American McDonald's for my lovely partner who cannot eat at Canadian McDonald's because of allergy restrictions.

Montana.  After crossing from Saskatchewan into Montana I quickly realized that I no longer had phone service! Luckily the border guard gave me maps of Montana and North Dakota after a search of my car and examination of my credentials confirmed that in fact I really was going to kill a Saturday going on an international junk food run. The border guard strongly advised me to cross into North Dakota where I would have better junk food options.  So after filling the tank in Scobey, Montana, I literally pointed the car east and drove... and drove... and drove...

and I drove some more, and then passed through a few small towns before reaching ND.
What: McDonald's
Where: Williston, North Dakota

America. The land of all day McDonald's breakfast. It was bliss to have my first Big Breakfast in several years.  Though truth be told, aside from the biscuit and hash brown, I wasn't too impressed.  I accomplished my first task when I grabbed some American hamburgers for the entire family.


What: Easy Cheese
Where: Albertson's in Williston

Now this just falls into the category of totally unnecessary. I picked up a "can" of this cheese as well as some bacon Ritz crackers and enjoyed a meal of bad bad bad food.  For dessert I had two Reece's and one Snickers candy bars.  I washed them down with a can of Diet Pepsi!

After that, however, I could eat no more. My body, which had put up with too much, wanted actual electrolytes like potassium and calcium, not the mysterious ooze that is Easy Cheese.

So, I grabbed a few more cans for the kids--they loved it, as well as some halloween candy and Tupperware for the excess McDonald's food.


The trip home was long and foggy. I was met with near disbelief when I spoke to the border guard upon re-entering Canada. I'm a very transparent person, so I knew my car would be searched once again after telling them I was on a junk food run.  After the search one guard smiled and said "You must really love your wife."

Driving back to Saskatoon in the dense fog was the toughest part.  In Regina I had a Gu gel... and let me tell you, Gu is useful even when you're not running.

In retrospect, was it worth renting an SUV and driving 1200k for a junk food run?  Financially, it was the sort of trip that would make an accountant cry. But you only live once.

No comments:

Post a Comment